February 12, 2009
A Way To Control and Exploit Your World
Although the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” may portend attitudes’ interpretation of the fates deem inevitable, it can also reflect fatalistic expectations of future events within a cosmic play seen from a skewed perspective, just a nebulous notion or delusional state, demarcating individualized affect that attributes its own meaning to what images are suggested by “control”.
If seeking domination of circumstances to impact a specific effect is sought despite infinite unanticipated external possibilities, then personal thought, balanced upon positive and negative experiences, impress the ironic futility to any such endeavor. Now technology has an input into this very notion.
A variety of products developed for the enlightened individual who wants to take charge of his/her environment has been explored by slashgear.com; a reservoir of unimaginable ideas made concrete for anyone to redefine their personal surroundings.
First there is the color coordinated, Control Your Man Or Women Remote Control. Pink for the men and dark gray for the women who have issues with their paramour and require additional prodding instead of spending thousand of dollars in counseling or legal fees sucked up by lawyers to win a divorce settlement. The remote control claims to get them to do what you want on a whim, without the hassle of free will, free speech or love potion #9, conjured in a burning cauldron of witches brew so eloquently memorialized by The Three in MacBeth, Act 1, Scene1: “Fair is foul, and foul is fair: Hover through the fog and filthy air,” as an inspiration for the evil queen, stepmother of Snow White, as she transforms, a result of a dark potion, into the ugly contorted witch in the sweeping 1940 animated epic Disney masterpiece Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs, surrounded by thunder, swirling wind and lightning and the poisoned apple, cackling her narrative to the mesmerized gaze of children and adults sitting in the audience. Although not a new concept it does have a soundly presented atmospheric charm all its own.
“Press a button and it yells at your significant other to do the task of your choosing. Both remotes emit obnoxious noises. the pink one sounds boyish while the dark gray, whiny and ‘girlish.’” One remote is priced at $17.95, while the set, an amazing steal at $29.95. Perhaps behavior modification reminiscent of Psychology 101, the classic Lab Rat experiments devised for the quest to find the biological basis of behavior can apply here, or not.
Atmosphere is also a worthy condition to exist by making all life possible especially in a party environment within an array of merging amino acids. Now there is a way to test, and yes, manipulate your surroundings, and the people who comprise its milieu. Another genius invention shown on slashgear.com. Its the Portable Voice Stress Analyzer, particularly made for the paranoid of heart. Trapped in an affair with numerous people, the voice stress analyzer is small enough to slip into your purse or briefcase and works “by measuring the tremors in the audio signal from the vocal cords. It then assesses how honest the people surrounding you are,” a consideration of note when attempting to cultivate a sense of intuition. Advertised on nerdapproved.com for $58.40 “with an easy to read LED layout makes determining innocence or guilt quick, easy and unequivocal, so you can falsely accuse and alienate anyone you want, anytime, anywhere.”
The final piece to this triad effectively designed for any diagnosed or undiagnosed contro
l complex is The Sonic Nausea Gadget to make those around you feel queasy enough to leave. “Sonic Nausea is a small electronic device which can really ‘boom’ one’s stomach. It generates a unique combination of ultra-high frequency sound waves which soon leads most in its vicinity to queasiness. It can also cause headaches, intense irritation, sweating, imbalance, nausea, or even vomiting. The unique sound wave characteristics make directional source determination difficult. Powered by one 9-volt battery (not included). For extended run time six AA batteries in a battery pack with transistor clips (available from most electronics stores) can be used instead. Use with extreme (paranoid) discretion.” $29.00. This product is also advertised on shomer-tech.com, which specializes in law enforcement and military equipment.
All of these treasures are a testament to whoever said, “Things always comes in three’s”
My Percepto Rating: Its a secret. See if you can cajole it outta me.

















Spending an hour at
“It is a complete, self-contained and self-sustaining miniature world encased in glass, carefully crafted to achieve an aesthetic, meditative beauty that can soothe any environment, exploring the inter dependence of animal and plant life with Earth’s most precious element - water (see the picture).” It survived over four years and had these tiny creatures that swam around in the water. A reflection of life enclosed and perfectly balanced under my total control. It comes in a variety of sizes and shapes, spherical for the scientist at heart or an egg-shape for those with a philosophic sense. Perfect for the home or in a conference room at a business meeting, possibly on Wall Street, to distract from the erratic behavior of the Stock Market. As one would expect, the larger ones cost more money.
Here for example is a truly bizarre time measuring device. It is known as
For the same price of $49.95, there is yet another variation of clock. It is called the
Perhaps it’s possible to create your own sounds, intimately unique, a reflection of inner thought, personal fantasy, or an after life experience communicating with someone on the other side. But wait, there is more. “This clock can also be set to operate in reverse, gradually diminishing light, scent, and sound at night to usher sleepers into a relaxed slumber. The clock has a night light setting as well. ‘What’s more, this keeper of time plugs into a standard household outlet, and uses two AA batteries for backup power, ensuring that time and alarm buzzer functions remain operable in the event of power loss. It measures 7 1/2″ H x 5 1/4″ W x 6 1/4″ D. (3 1/2 lbs.).”
A simple marionette controlled with twelve strings became a friend to millions of children. A creation of puppeteers Velma Wayne Dawson and Rufus Rose, Double Doody Howdy - one of the stand in puppets used on the show - is now a coveted part of the Smithsonian Institution in Washington DC. A pioneer in children’s programming with a western theme, it was the place we first met Clara-bell, the clown who was mute and communicated with horns and the notorious seltzer bottle. Originally played by Bob Keeshan, the beloved Captain Kangaroo, who as captain of his enterprise fostered warm relationships between grandparents and children.














